


All New, Faded for Her

by justdreadwolfing



Series: Solas x Nira'sal [10]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-02 06:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5237942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justdreadwolfing/pseuds/justdreadwolfing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hearing that his friend has been used in a spirit binding devastates Solas and sends him in a frenzy to go off and help her.  Though he does all he can, it may already be too late. </p><p>Part 2 is up~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All New

While he had tried to remain patient, he could feel it running thin as time went on. His friend was in danger, time was of the essence and it was this moment that Nira decided to take forever with. Solas found himself pacing back and forth by the entrance of Skyhold. 

He forced himself to take deep breaths, steadying his mind before turning and heading out into the Exalted Plains on his own. He could feel his mind cloud with worry. What if they were too late? 

_“Ma fen, please…”_

The words echoed in his mind.

He took a deep breath, attempting to calm his mind.

Things would work out.

“Solas? You alright?” Nira’s almost melodic voice came from behind him, his body almost instantly turning to greet her. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“I’m alright. We just need to leave as soon as possible. Her cries are haunting me and from here I can do nothing, but fear for her well-being.”

Dorian walked up to them with Iron Bull right on his heel. “Shall we get a move on then? I’d hate to see how much more flustered our elven friend here can get.

“We’re all set, Boss.” Iron Bull nodded towards Nira.

“Don’t worry, Solas. We’ll save your friend.” Nira smiled, touching his arm lightly. Solas nodded, but the fear remained, tugging on the edge of his mind.

While he appreciated the thought and knew just how powerful the two had become, Solas couldn’t help but wish that he and Nira had made this journey alone.

It would have been easier and would have given them a chance to talk. 

Exchanges between the two of them had become far more complicated than he had imagined. While it had become obvious that Nira was searching for a bond mate, Solas had attempted to keep their relationship civil.

He had failed at every turn.

Something about her made him feel weak. She made him feel like despite the possibilities of what may happen in the future, the two of them had a chance.

He was reminded constantly, despite what he truly wanted. He knew that would be impossible. If there was even a chance, Solas knew that he would have to reveal his true nature, but the Wolf deep inside himself would surely deny him that.

He had no one to talk about this with now. Wisdom was one of his closet and oldest friends. He felt like he could share anything with her and certainly did.

_You worry too much, Fen’harel._

Solas could hear her words as if she were standing beside him now. “I am trying, ma falon.” He whispered wordlessly, hoping to quiet her voice in his mind.

She will be fine. They would make it.

They walked the through the plains and could hear bits and pieces of his companions conversations, but his attention had been placed firmly on the direction they were headed. He didn’t have time to talk.

“So…this spirit. You’re friends with this thing?” Iron Bull asked.

“I am and she is not a thing.”

“A she, eh? I didn’t think spirits could e anything more than just…things.” Iron Bull spoke, worry nipping at his voice. He made no secret of his dislike for spirits and while Solas knew that he was only here for his benefit, perhaps it would have been better for him to keep quiet.

“So, what exactly did you think Cole was?” Nira laughed.

“I dunno…just a really weird kid.”

Solas ignored them. Unable to even concentrate on their weak attempts to distract him.

The longer they took to reach her, the more Solas felt his stomach churn. She was in pain. He could feel it even outside of the Fade. They had been close friends for so long…he just had a sense.

It became even stronger as they approached a couple of bodies on the ground, some killed by arrows, but it was the others that drew his attention. “Claw marks…” Nira breathed, her voice soft. Their eyes met and he could see the worry fill her eyes. She knew. She knew just as he knew.

“We should hurry.” Solas says, his voice strained and quiet. 

As they crossed the field, Solas gasped, his worst fears realized.

“No. No no no…my friend…”

Wisdom…No…It is Pride now.

“No!” He could feel his blood begin to boil as they neared her. She cried out in pain, but there was nothing he could do to save her. Nira gently touched his arm, the sudden contact causing him to jump. 

“There must be something we can do.” Nira said, full of uncertainty. He knew a great deal about spirits and demons, but turning a demon back to its original purpose would require great skill. With his old powers, perhaps he could, but he was still weak and at this point there was little he could do. 

Solas’ head lowered as he searched his mind for a solution. “I’m not sure if it will work, but we have to try it. For her sake.”

“We’ve got your back, Solas.” Dorian said from behind him. While he appreciated the sentiment, they did little to soothe his anger.

As they stood there, a mage made his way towards them. Solas glared, positive that he helped in diverting Wisdom’s original purpose, turning her into this…demon. The man approached them slowly, but seemed relieved. 

“A mage! Thank goodness! We’ve been fighting this demon for hours and have completely drained our supplies.”

“You summoned that demon and twisted it’s nature at that! It was a Spirit of Wisdom and you made it kill you…you-” Solas struggled for the words as his anger bubbled and boiled. He tried so hard to keep his cool, but as the mage continued to talk about how much more he knew about spirits and demons, Solas could no longer contain himself.

“Shut. Up.” Solas clenched his fist, doing everything in his power to keep himself from allowing the Wolf to take over and ruin his entire plan. He took deep breaths, hoping that would be enough. 

He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing him a moment to sort through his thoughts. He had to come up with a solution. “The summoning circle. If we break it, perhaps we will break the binding. With no orders to kill, perhaps she will return to her original purpose.” 

“What? No, I cannot allow this!” The mage insisted. “Whatever it was before, it is a monster now. It’s too late. You must help us destroy it.” 

Solas turned his attention to Nira, who had remained quiet during the exchange. She seemed more nervous and flustered than usual, no doubt because of her experience with demons. The fear demon had taken it’s toll, but if they were able to destroy the bindings…

“Inquisitor, please.” He begged. They had to save her.

Nira nodded. “We’ll do all we can, Solas.”

Solas nodded back, turning his attention to the Pride demon.

It was too late.

Solas watched as Pride twisted and turned, her body pulled inward as she began to shrink back to her normal size. 

Wisdom…

“Falon…” Solas fell to his knees as his friend returned. No longer was she forced to kill. She was no longer twisted against her purpose, but now…

It was too late. The wisdom was stolen from her. All that was left was pride and rage. 

Wisdom had been denied her purpose twice. With her purpose changed and once again stolen from her, she was left in front of him no more than a hollow shell. 

“Ir abelas.” Solas said, watching his friend sadly. It was not supposed to happen this way. They should have…

_“I’m not. I am me again. Remain strong, ma fen. You must overcome and endure, with time your heart will be tamed.”_ Wisdom whispered in elvhen for the final time. It pained him to see her this way. She was in pain and they both knew there was only one way to save her. _“Please ma falon, guide me into death.”_

Fighting back tears, Solas let his head hang. Wisdom was his oldest friend and now…

“Ma nuvenin…” Raising his hands in front of her, he allowed a steady stream of magic flow through her, carrying her towards her final resting place. “Dareth shiral, ma falon…” 

“I…I’m so sorry.” Nira’s voice staggered, her soft steps approaching him.

Solas closed his eyes. Trying to contain his emotions, but every moment he could feel them slipping further and further from his grasp. He took a deep breath before standing, another pair of footsteps shuffling up behind him. 

They would pay…

“Thank you. You have no idea-” the mage started but was instantly caught up as Solas completely lost control.

“You tortured and killed my friend.” Solas huffed, his mind clouding as he walked towards them with anger.

“We didn’t know it was just a spirit. The book said-” The mage tried to defend himself, but it meant nothing to him. Wisdom was gone. Solas’ eyes glowed a deep blue as his anger swallowed him, the Wolf taking over with an elated snarl.

In an instant, they fell.

Solas looked down at their bodies, uncertainty crossing his features. He had let his anger get the better of him. He had allowed the Wolf to tighten his grasp around him. He thought he had grown past it. Thought he was strong enough to take the beast, but it seems like he was weaker than he had originally assumed.

“Solas?” Nira spoke quietly, made barely a whisper. They deserved their fate, but…

“I am sorry, but I need some time. I will meet you back at Skyhold. I just…” his words trailed as he became unable to meet her gaze. “I need some time.”

Nira nodded. “Are you sure you wouldn’t like some company?”

Solas paused for a moment, attempting to collect his answer. Wisdom was gone…his friend…she knew him better than anyone else, even more so now.

He furrowed his brow and turned. “I need some time alone.” 

His eyes searched the ground. His mind filling with emotions.

What would he do without Wisdom to guide him?

Now, he must endure…


	2. Faded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the pain of losing his oldest friend, Solas remembers his last moments together with Wisdom. From her words, he decides his next path.

_Mala suledin nadas._

The words had this unbearable weight to them that seemed to slow him down as he made his way through the Exalted Plains. Using his staff as a prop, Solas leaned his body against it whenever necessary as he continued his walk. He felt weak and alone. There was no longer his friend there to guide him whenever he felt he was going in the wrong direction. What was he to do? Who was he to turn to?

_You must remain strong, ma fen._

Wisdom’s words echoed in his mind as if she were standing beside him. Solas stopped, placing a hand to his head as he tried to keep Wisdom’s voice strong. Solas took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, allowing the memory of their last time together to echo through his thoughts.

* * *

She laughed. “You’re afraid of this child? Well, well, ma fen, I’ve never known you to be one to give up and not face a challenge head on.” Wisdom smiled, eyeing him curiously. “She must be quite…intriguing to have baffled you so.”

Solas sighed, his voice barely a whisper. “Indeed. It has become increasingly difficult to ignore.”

She walked coyly as they traversed the Fade side by side. Her hands placed delicately behind her back, her body swaying with every step. “I fail to see the problem. All succumb to their emotions, even the mighty Dread Wolf is sure to fall sooner or later.” Her smile danced across her lips, her melodic voice teasing him at every turn.

“I cannot allow this to happen. My duty must remain my focus.”

“Why of course, but I see no problem with a tryst here and there. As I recall, even before with the responsibilities you bore, you made time for more…personal affairs.”

Solas’ brows furrowed. “This is far different than before. I have to step cautiously, carefully, every move must be methodically planned and executed.”

Wisdom chuckled. “As I recall, these methodical plans of yours never seem to have the results you require.”

Solas remained quiet for several moments. He was well aware of his past mistakes. Wisdom knew how they haunted him better than anyone. Though, legends of the Dread Wolf were more than diminished to nothing but a scary tale to keep the Dalish children in line.

They knew nothing of their true history and that was his biggest failure.

Wisdom frowned, her eyes locking on something before them. “Yes well, you seem well driven to fix your mistakes. I am sure that one way or another, your plan will come to pass…” She hummed for a moment, the words rolling off her tongue. “…Perhaps even in a way you do not see.”

“I suppose.”

Wisdom reached out, placing her small hand on his shoulder. “It will happen.”

“I only worry in what way the veil will fall. The Wolf continues to growl with each progression towards the foci and I fear that unless I can retrieve it, I will lose control.”

Solas stopped, the worried expression on his face seemed to be enough to give Wisdom pause. She turned, placing the palms of her hands to his cheeks, forcing him to look at her. “Remain strong, _ma falon._ You and I both know he is waiting for you to drop your resolve. If you fear for the safety of the People, you must not let him break through.” Despite her words, Solas’ eyes fell to the ground. “There is something else that seems to be bothering you, _ma fen._ Do not hide it from me.”

Solas scanned the ground, searching for the words to respond and while he did his best to hide his pain, he knew he could keep nothing from her. It was no use hiding. She knew him better than anyone else in any world. “I am uncertain that Nira’sal will see the person I will become if I continue down this path. The further I fall for her…the angrier the Wolf becomes. I am not sure I can protect her should the worst come to pass.”

Wisdom’s eyes widened, not expecting the answer she received, but her expression was quickly replaced by a warm smile. “You truly do fancy this girl…” 

His eyes shifted away from her, his cheeks warming. “I…fear for her safety.”

The mischievous smile on the spirit’s face only grew wider as she slowly closed the gap between them. “And?”

He was unable to make eye contact. She knew. There was no reason to hide it any further. His and Nira’s relationship had blossomed further than he had ever intended. Hidden kisses when no one was looking, sneaking glances and awkward hand holding when they were out on missions. Every night that they spent together protecting her from the Fear demon…He hadn’t intended it to progress this far, but he was unable to stop the connection they shared. When he was with Nira, he felt safe and for the first time, he could forget about all the pain and suffering he had caused for himself and for the rest of the elves in Thedas. He could live his life as a normal person.

If he was truly honest with himself, that scared him more than the Wolf ever could.

His mouth opened, but the words refused to come. He had spent the last year burying his feelings, trying to dig them out was…far more difficult than he realized. “I…” He stopped, unable to continue.

“Perhaps it is best if you save your first confession for when you are face to face with this Nira’sal. After all, I can tell. It’s written all over your face.” Her playful voice and grin continued to taunt him, but he was full aware of his feelings despite being able to voice them.

Solas nodded.

“Solas, my friend. Despite all that has happened, you have always put the needs of the People before your own.” Wisdom’s eyes fell as she placed her hand on his chest. Her smile slowly falling. “Your mission is important, I am aware, but perhaps it is time to grant yourself at least this one happiness. Your past is full of pain and suffering…will being happy for once be so bad?”

“I suppose you are right.”

She placed her hands on her hips, her lips curling. “I know I’m right. Besides, this girl could be the key to taming the Wolf that calls to you. It is best not to shy away.” 

“Thank you, _ma falon._ ”

* * *

With his thoughts guiding him, Solas found himself heading back to Skyhold. 

“My friend, I am lost. What am I to do without you here to help keep me on the correct path? I fear I will succumb to the pressure he brings.” Solas closed his eyes as the words escaped his lips, his head throbbing as he felt the beast making his presence known. 

_Suledin._

Wisdom’s words echoed through his mind. Solas knew that in order for his plans to succeed, he would have to do as she told him. He took a deep breath, forcing his eyes open so that he could focus on the road before him. 

As he raised his head and his eyes focused, his body paused as he saw the form in front of him. 

There, sitting in a lump against Skyhold’s main gates, was a sleeping Nira’sal. The beautiful sight of her alone forced all his worry, all his pain, everything he had gone through in the past hour or so…vanished. Without even realizing it, the Wolf’s growls had subsided. Worry stitched across her face and in realizing this, he knew that she had waited for him. Foolish girl.

A relieved sigh escaped his lips as he made his way towards the sleeping girl. Solas smiled and upon reaching her, knelt down in front of her. Wisdom was right as she usually had been. It was time for him to allow himself to become happy. His duty was important, but if he thought of a way to get around it, he would be able to acquire everything. Above all, Solas knew he needed this.

Solas nodded to himself, his decision clear in his mind.

Quietly closing the distance, Solas knelt forward. He placed a small kiss on her forehead. What a foolish girl…and above all else, what a foolish man for falling for such a girl.

After a moment, he scooped her up in his arms and stood. He was unable to take his eyes off of her as he took careful steps up to her quarters. 

Solas had always known her beauty, but there was something more prominent now. Perhaps the fact that he had finally accepted it made her shine far brighter than he had seen before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> -Mala suledin nadas - You must endure  
> -Ma fen - My wolf


End file.
